Elevators and a cherry flavored disostick
by The noble one
Summary: little one-shot set in season 7. Banter between our favorite  H ouse couple.


Hey everyone! This little one-shot popped into my head while being bored at work and it wouldn't go away so I decided to write it down xD The story takes place in season 7 when everything still made sense and Huddy was a fact. Its intent is to make you all laugh and remind you of the good times! R&R

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. [H]ouse MD belongs to the creators, writers and producers and to be honest without LisaE I don't really want to own it.

**The tale of a****n annoyed Cuddles, cherry popsicles, an elevator & a smug House**

'NO!'

'But Cuddles..'

'I said no House and I'm sticking with it!'

'Oh come on that's not fair. I know you want it too Cuddles, admit it.'

'Whaat? What on earth makes you think that?'

'Mm perhaps because I'm a brilliant diagnostician and solving puzzles is what I do? Your mouth may be saying no but your body is practically begging me.'

'IT'S NOT.'

'Face it Cuddles you're betrayed by your own body and stop pouting like some school girl who lost her popsicle. Mm or do you like to play a school girl? I've got something that could replace that popsicle's place you know. If ya know what I mean.'

'Unfortunately I do. It's the reason why we're even having this conversation and please stop grinning like that. Besides that popsicle of yours doesn't taste like cherry.'

'Tss details Cuddles, details. That could be arranged you know.'

'Gods, you just never stop do you? No don't answer that, I know you don't. Oh and another thing STOP calling me Cuddles or...'

'Or what? You're gonna give me extra clinic hours? Oh now I'm scared. '

'Oh please don't act like a smug basterd. I was going to say: stop calling me Cuddles or that popsicle of yours will have one friend for a long time: your right handt, that is if I don't castrate you in your sleep!'

'….'

'What's that House? Don't know what to say?'

'You wouldn't!'

'Oh no. Try me? Oh wait no you can't unless you swear to stop calling me Cuddles.'

'Now who's looking smug?'

'Me and I'm enjoying every second of it.'

'Yeah well, you better because this is gonna be a one-time thing.'

'Wait wait. You THE Gregory House admit that I, a simple kissing-up-to-important-people-administrator as you so nicely describe my job, outwitted you? WOW I didn't even believe I would live to see that day. Oh I'm going to enjoy this.'

'Yeah yeah whatever Partypants'

'…'

'What? Don't tell me you forgot your nickname from Michigan.'

'I didn't as much as I tried to forget THAT, I can't.'

'Mmm remember that time when you were so drunk you started dancing on a table while singing you can't touch this?'

'Aaaaargh. Stop House, please!'

'Looks like it's my turn at looking smug again.'

'You're the most annoying man ever! Wasn't there a point to this whole conversation?'

'Yes there was but you dismissed it with your "no" , remember?'

'Ah yes your let's-have-sex-in-a-elevator-at-work-plan.'

'Pretty brilliant no?'

'Brilliant? Stupid and reckless is more like it. I'm the dean of medicine Greg. I can't just have sex with you, my employer in an elevator, even if you're my boyfriend.'

'But moooooooom. Why not? You didn't seem to mind having sex with me at the hospital last week?'

'Don't remind me. I still can't believe you talked me into having sex with you in the janitor's closet. Besides it was different because it was 11 pm and almost everyone had gone home. It's now 12 am and very busy. Besides how did you plan to pull this plan of yours off? The elevators are pretty crowded you know and don't call me mom while thinking about having sex with me, it's disturbing.'

'Yeah yeah fine I'll call you PartyPants. Well there's this thing called an emergency button so that would give us some time.'

'And what about the other people? You're gonna let them watch?'

'No I don't share.'

'Mmm possessive. I like that.'

'Of course you do PartyPants.'

'Ugh. So other people?'

'Mm ah yes. Sorry you kissing along my neck has gotten me a bit distracted.'

'And excited apparently. Looks like Greg Jr likes it as well.'

'Yeah my 17-inch disco stick adores you.'

'Oh I know he does. I think he's pretty awesome too.'

'I'll bet you do. So getting rid of the other people. Well I'll just be my usual charming self and they'll go away.'

'With charming you mean, you'll insult them so they'll scowl and leave?'

'Uhu.'

'How clever. Well lets's go than.'

'…' 'You're serious?'

'Do I look like I'm joking?'

'No but you said...'

'Yes I know what I said, I'm not senile. I have a lot of paperwork to do and don't feel like it but I do like Greg Jr so…'

'Down woman. Let's go!'

'I thought you'd never ask.'

Fin

( well you all can imagine what happens next ! )

P.S. people pointed out I wrote Hugh Jr instead of Greg Jr which I blame my twitter perv's for xD for the purpose of the 'story' although it's more banter I changed it! Some people (yes my fellow perv's I'm talking to you) will discover that I used some elements from our conversations on twitter in here.


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